This past week I have been contemplating a great deal on the many things that I do in my life. I have schoolwork each day. I have a blog that has garnered a good amount of attention and popularity. I work almost 40 hours a week serving food, training employees, and ordering uniforms for over 50 people. I attend church each Sunday, help lead the youth worship team at my church, and attend a class on Knowing God each Wednesday. I volunteer at the church each Wednesday. I play soccer for a team. And to top it off, I write for a magazine.
I do a lot. And a lot has been left lacking in many areas in the past year.
For each Christian, I believe a time of self-examination in the light of Godâ€™s Word is a very healthy practice to periodically exercise. So, that is what I have been doing for the past week are so, and have thought much about blogging and its place in my life in the past, present, and the future. During this time, just a few shortcomings have come to my attention as I examined my life as I studied Godâ€™s Word. I have seen a lack of follow-through on promises given in writing and speech on podcasts. I have seen disorganization at many levels. And finally, I have seen unfaithfulness to that which God has laid on my heart (which includes selfishness to some degree. Iâ€™ll explain later.)
Unfaithful promises. I certainly am not God, and therefore do not keep all of my promises. Yet I was convicted that I have many times said I would do a certain thing here on the blog, and it never came about. That very well could be considered a lie. To be honest, this tends to happen constantly on the internet where I can say something and not follow-through and the consequences of that action are minimal if not nonexistent. Itâ€™s easy for me to say â€œthere will be a three-part series coming upâ€ but never actually have it happen. What do I lose? Nothing really, except trust — which really is a lot more than nothing. You as a reader of this website do not get what you deserve. Therefore, I come before you humbled by Godâ€™s conviction and ask for your forgiveness for this sin. In addition, I would like to retract any previous promise that I have made on this website, any other website, or podcast in order to be completely truthful in what I say and do.
By Godâ€™s grace for henceforth I can be faithful to the promises that I make.
Disorganized presentation. When God calls us to do something for Him, He asks for more than just a â€œgoodâ€ action on that command. He desires and commands our â€œbest.â€ In that, I have been less than â€œrebelutionaryâ€ on this website, and have attempted to take the easy road out by posting short posts that require minimal effort, little thought, miniscule theology, and abysmal attention to application. James 4:17 tells us that â€œanyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesnâ€™t do it sins.â€ I know that I am called to be the very best I can be, not mediocre. Now, perhaps this sounds somewhat like a person making a â€œmountain out of a molehill.â€ I disagree — God cares about every area of our life, even blogging, This is not a separate area — we cannot make it that. God has not called me to apathy and mediocrity. In Revelation chapter 3, Jesus speaks to the church of Loadicea, condemning them for their mediocrity found with their church. â€œI know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm — neither hot nor cold — I am about to spit you out of my mouth.â€ Friends, we must at all costs strive for a passion for the best. This â€œbestâ€ is described by Paul in Romans 12. We are to â€œoffer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God,â€ we are not to â€œconform to the patter of this worldâ€ but rather we must â€œbe transformed by the renewing of your mind.â€ Paul urges us to â€œnot think of yourselves more highly than you oughtâ€ but rather with â€œsober judgment, in accordance to the measure of faith God has givenâ€ us.
I could go on and on about how we are to live our lives with a passion for the cross each and every day — not just Sundayâ€™s and Wednesdays.
In addition, I realize that God has called us to order, not disorganization (1 Corinthians 11,, 14:26-40). â€œEverything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.â€
Here I wish to apologize for those times where I have been far less than good, far less than mediocre, and far less than organized.
Selfishness in writing. This is something that you would certainly not be aware of, but I am more and more aware of this sin in my life each and every day. When God lays a truth on your heart to share, or a burden for the lost, or a command to obey, we must obey. Yet I have decided on multiple occasions — perhaps hundreds of occasions, to specifically not write here because the truth I had learned I wanted to keep to myself. Or I did not feel like sitting down and putting in the energy needed to write something of substance that God had laid on my heart to write In this time, I have also wrestled with this whole idea of â€œGod laying something on my heart.â€ Does that truly happen? If so, how does it work? How can I know itâ€™s true?
I used excuses over and over again to avoid taking on something that might prove to be a harder task than normal. One day it was writerâ€™s block. One day I â€œdidnâ€™t have time.â€ Another, I just didnâ€™t feel like it. The next I was tired. On and on they came, until it came to my attention that I have been selfish when it came to writing. It does seem rather odd to be â€œselfishâ€ when it comes to writing — sometimes there is a time to not speak, to remain humble and obedient. Yet many times that is not the case. When you have a forum to speak, we must speak. The message of the gospel and how it affects our lives is not something to keep to ourselves. Humble orthodoxy is not silent orthodoxy. It is proclaiming the truth with humility. When I do not share or speak, I am once again not doing the good that I ought to be doing.
It is in all these things that I ask for your forgiveness as I ask for Godâ€™s forgiveness. There are many other things other than simply these â€œblog sins,â€ and the time may come when I share about those things (not promising anything), and am dealing with those issues. For now, I rest solidly in the faithfulness of the gospel.
â€œLet us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.â€ — Hebrews 11:19-23